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The Homesteader, The Chicken & The Jehovah’s Witness

ByJessica Knowles Reading Time: 2 minutes

I went out to collect eggs one morning and one of my hens was injured. It seemed like she got cornered and attacked in a nest box and then there was a free-for-all. After 20 minutes I finally caught her (after catching the wrong leghorn twice). Anyways, I brought her inside and set her up in the chickie hospital (aka: a dog crate). I had to get the toddler down for his nap before I could really tend to her.

The homesteader, the chicken, and the Jehovah's Witness. A funny homesteading story, because you can't make this stuff up.

 

I get the baby down and come back out to collect the chicken. She freaks out and I accidentally lose my grip. I have to catch her again and this time she’s in the house. About the time I’ve got her, a loud knock sounds at the door. It’s a Jehovah Witness. Not exactly the best timing. I decide that I am not putting this chicken down for anything and I don’t want him to wake the baby with his knocking, so I answer the door, chicken in arm.

The look on this man’s face was priceless. He stuttered a bit, apologized profusely for bothering me and then all but ran down the driveway. It wasn’t until I caught my reflection in the mirror as I closed the door that I realized what spooked him. Here I am holding a live chicken in a suburban home with my face, hands and clothes are splattered with chicken blood. All I can think it that he thought I was doing some odd cult ritual.

Only in a homesteader’s home.

The homesteader, the chicken, and the Jehovah's Witness. A funny homesteading story, because you can't make this stuff up.

 

Owner, Writer at The 104 Homesteader

A gifted writer and long-time Maine homesteader, Jessica is here to share her knowledge and expertise. Jessica can help you homestead successfully on your piece of land. You can rely on her advice and tips since she has been engaged in small-scale farming and self-sufficiency for over a decade. In her downtime, Jessica loves to take her boys on hikes or spend time with her Coturnix quail coveys. She also loves caring for her goats and garden. Jessica will show you how it's done so you can thrive on your homestead.

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35 Comments

  1. Karen the Pawed Piper says:

    No, as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I can assure you that this did not scare him off. I have to chuckle at all those others who really believe that their ‘tactics’ of scaring us off is really working– and not coming back is just coincidence. We recognize when its bad timing and respect that so leave. I’m sure he could see that your chicken was injured too. Although I’ve never had it, one post from a JW said that a man came to the door naked. I’ve heard of this before and really…I’m married to a man and changed diapers to a boy and I’ve had a brother…I don’t think there is anything we’ve not seen before but scaring us off…no. One thing you can be assured of is that unless there is a notice posted, which we do respect–so no need to ‘scare us off’ with silly tactics..lol… we will be back in one form or another at some point…phone calls, letters, personal home visits or just talking to you randomly, on the street, the store, in a Dr’s office or somewhere public.

    Reply

  3. Hey! Maybe I could keep a chicken or two in my urban apartment. We don’t get many Jehovah’s Witness but the solicitors at the door are never-ending. The year we had the big, hairy spider infestation in the stairway helped. But those spiders have gone….. maybe chickens would help.

    Reply
  4. Jana Davila says:

    HAHAHA! Same thing happened to us, only they came to our backyard where my husband and son had chickens hanging upside down because it was butchering day! Let’s just say it was quite comical, to say the least. 🙂

    Reply

  5. Too funny, Jessica! I believe you may have hit on the perfect way to keep the Jehovah’s Witness from coming around. I have to admit, they are one visitor I don’t miss since we moved to our rural homestead. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Delci @ Heritage Club Stables says:

    Ha! This made me laugh out loud!

    Reply
  7. Josie Wales says:

    I had a rooster get torn up by a neighbor’s dog at 3 am once. Easiest thing to do at the time was just bring him indoors for the night. Naturally he started crowing at 6 am. I grabbed him up and opened the front door to toss him to the porch, wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. Well, the livestock hauler who was supposed to arrive at 9 was 3 hours early, and he got quite an eyeful that morning. Bed head, bare butt, and a battered rooster under my arm. Mkay.

    Also that hen in your picture up there has a case of leg mites. The raised scales are tell tale signs. Dip ’em in mineral oil to smother them. Easy fix.

    Reply
    1. Jessica Lane says:

      Ha ha ha! That’s funny!

      Yeah, that was a stock photo because I didn’t have a picture of my chickens that captured the right feel. I didn’t notice the legs until after the post was live. I need to remember to switch that out. Thanks for reminding me.

      Reply

  8. Thank you for sharing…..how funny!

    Reply

    1. I laughed at the Jehovah’s Witness visit and decided to share my story. Some 40+ years ago I was sharing in this wonderful ministry work by offering invitations to a special upcoming event.
      I knocked on the door, a young man came to the door in only his didey whities. I thought to myself, I grew up with a father, 2 brothers, and now I have a husband and 2 young sons, you don’t have a thing that I haven’t seen before”. I looked him straight in the eyes, gave my presentation and an invitation and said “Have a good day”. To this day, at the age of 67 years YOUNG, I still get a big laugh at “Mr. Didey Whitey’s” attempt to stop me in my tracks. Love your blog.

      Reply
      1. Claire Talltree says:

        Once I witnessed to a door with a man who was completely naked. Just kept looking him in the eye, and invited him to the Lord’s Evening Meal. I was tempted to offer him Matthew 6:28-29, but I didn’t. 🙂

        By the way, I also am a homesteader. I raise chickens, sheep, and border collies. I, too, scared the Witnesses a bit when they first met me, but they are kind people and will go out of their way to be friendly and help if you need. The best people ever! Thanks for your story; love your blog.

        Reply

    2. I laughed at the Jehovah’s Witness visit and decided to share my story. Some 40+ years ago I was sharing in this wonderful ministry work by offering invitations to a special upcoming event.
      I knocked on the door, a young man came to the door in only his didey whities. I thought to myself, “I grew up with a father, 2 brothers, and now I have a husband and 2 young sons, you don’t have a thing that I haven’t seen before”. I looked him straight in the eyes, gave my presentation and an invitation and said “Have a good day”. To this day, at the age of 67 years YOUNG, I still get a big laugh at “Mr. Didey Whitey’s” attempt to stop me in my tracks. Love your blog.

      Reply
      1. Jessica Lane says:

        Ha ha! That is great. Thanks for sharing and for your kind words.

        Reply

  9. I love that story!
    I’m a little OCD about chickens, so I have to ask if that photo above is one of your hens?
    If she is, you might want to treat her feet and legs for leg-mites. Those raised scales on her skin can turn into quite a painful condition for her.

    Reply
    1. Jessica Lane says:

      Yay for OCD. My chickens weren’t cooperating so I used a stock photo. It wasn’t until I had everything up and live that I noticed the legs. I was going to switch it out for a picture of my girls and completely forgot. Thanks for reminding me.

      Reply

  10. That’s so funny. I had to read it outloud to my family. It reminds me of a homestead incident we had with a couple of male visitors with their Watch Tower Magazines. I’ll have to tell you sometime privately. But I will say that their magazines ended up all over the ground and Robin had to pick them up, for them.

    Reply
    1. Jessica Lane says:

      Can’t wait to hear it 😉

      Reply
    2. Grandma Len says:

      That’s not fair – teasing us like this

      Reply

  11. Something is missing here. Most JW or anyone else for that matter,would ask if you were ok if finding someone blood splattered. Unless perhaps they felt you were preparing chicken for dinner. But maybe you met one who is squimsh. JW are capable of conversation in any situation, unless the person makes it clear they want them to leave. They don’t “turn heel and run” without just cause

    Reply
    1. Anonymous says:

      You are right JW’s spend their lives trained to speak to everyone in every situation and trained well. I went door to door my entire child hood and even as a child witnessed to a man with a gun pointed at us, a women holding a vicious attack dog she threatened to release and a nun. Not much sends them running but it is possible it was obvious they we’re interrupting and out of respect he apologized but the trained response is to try to schedule a better time to come by 🙂

      Reply
  12. Stumble-On Micro-Farmstead says:

    I just found this site and I love it! I am attempting to “farmstead” 1.4 acres; it’s so nice to see all you are doing on even less. I had to comment on this post, though, because last time Jehovah Witnesses came to see me, I was in the front yard bathing some chickens before a swap. We were all soaked, the kids were naked and muddy, I was dunking the rooster. I told them straight-faced that now wasn’t a good time, we were baptizing the chickens. They haven’t been back. 😀

    Reply
    1. Jessica Lane says:

      That’s great! LOL

      Reply

  13. HAHA! Would have loved to see his face.

    Reply
  14. Valerie P says:

    Reminds me of the time a Jehovah’s Witness came to my door. This was several years ago when the midwest had all of the flooding. Anyway, he asked me politely if I thought all of the destruction of the floods was God’s punishment I said I did. He turned on his heel and walked away.

    Reply

    1. Did you really think that?

      Reply

  15. I actually study with the Witnesses (my 10 year old daughter actually goes door-to-door) and I can tell ya….seeing a women in chicken blood isn’t even close to shocking with what many Witnesses see while out in service (its a scary world out there!) I have hens…goats & rabbits….and I know there have been days when I’ve gone to the Kingdom Hall with hay on my dress – haha 🙂
    Cute Story! Enjoy your blog

    Reply
    1. Jessica Lane says:

      I can only imagine LOL.

      Reply

    2. I have to agree, Witnesses goes to all doors, so they have the potential to encounter the full gamut of man’s condition, from the innocent to the destructively evil… they never know what they will find behind a closed door… It is sheer love of neighbor and the desire to please their creator that they engage in such a potentially dangerous Ministry… But I would also say that behind those closed doors are Jehovahs sheep, and by going to those doors the lost sheep are found…

      Reply
  16. bobbi dougherty says:

    omg, so funny. I can just picture that. 🙂

    Reply
  17. Cheryl @ Pasture Deficit Disorder says:

    That was priceless. Thanks for sharing. We have to embrace the lighter side of homesteading when we can! And I hope your hen is doing okay. 🙂

    Reply

  18. Priceless, I good a good laugh out of that one!

    Reply
  19. Jenn Dana says:

    I could totally visualize that in my head and it made me LOL!! Great story.

    Reply

  20. Jessica, Thank you… you made my day ~!~

    Reply
  21. Angi @ SchneiderPeeps says:

    I bet that was priceless! Hope the hen is ok.

    Reply
    1. Jessica Lane says:

      Oh yeah, she was fine. Those comb injuries always looks worse than they are.

      Reply